Me Smash!

“In the beginning the Universe was created. This has made a lot of people very angry and has been widely regarded as a bad move.”
–Douglas Adams–

This is why I have to work out and I’m pissed.

YamFu

Since my last post was about frustration I’ve decided to post something to help reduce frustration….I bring to you BUBBLE WRAP POPPING!

Enjoy….oh…I love Manic Mode!

Friar YamFu

I don’t usually do political commentary on my blog although I’m not exactly sure why. Hmmmm…..something to be examined….

I share political frustration with many people of this country and to a greater extent the world. The following lyrics to an Eddie Vedder cover of ‘Here’s To The State’ highlights my political aggravation. I’m thinking of adding this to the Soundtrack of My Life. We’ll see if it has any longevity.

“Here’s to the judges of John Roberts,
Who wear the robe of honor in a phony legal form,
And justices are stranger when the partisans report,
When the court elected a president it was the beginning of this war,

Here’s to the land you’ve torn out the heart of,
John Roberts find yourself another country to be part of

And here’s to the government of Dick Cheney,
With criminals posin’ as advisors to the crown,
And they hope that no one sees the sites or that no one hears the sounds,
Cause the speeches of our president are the ravings of a clown

Here’s to the land you’ve torn out the heart of,
Dick Cheney find yourself another country to be part of

And here’s to the churches of Jerry Falwell,
Oh the cross once made of silver oh now is turned to rust,
And the Sunday morning services preach in fear of men in love,
And God only knows in heaven they must trust

Here’s to the land you’ve torn out the heart of,
Jerry Falwell find yourself another country to be part of

Here’s to the laws of Alberto Gonzalez,
Congress will pass an act in the panic of the day,
And the Constitution’s drowning in an ocean of decay,
And ‘freedom of speech is dangerous’ I’ve even heard them say

Here’s to the land you’ve torn out the heart of,
Gonzalez find yourself another country to be part of

Here’s to the businessmen of George W,
Who’ll want to change the focus from Halliburton and Enron
And their profits like blood money spilled out on the white house lawn,
And to keep their hold on power they’re using terror as a con,
While the bombs they fall on children don’t know which side…don’t care which side that they’re on

Here’s to the land you’ve torn out the heart of,
George W find yourself another country to be part of

Here’s to the land you’ve torn out the heart of,
George W find yourself another country to be part of”

You can find this song on the Collector’s Edition of the Into The Wild soundtrack at iTunes.

YamFu

Uhhhh….not that it’s any secret but I’d rather be with my lady at a Major League Baseball game. There I said it.

Now on to other stuff. A friend informed me today that he saw a man walking down the street with a piece of his skivvies hanging out of his pant leg. I can honestly say I have no reaction to that. None at all.

Tonight is wine, pasta and games with our great friends…The Davis’. Jeff has a new blog….Space Robots on Blogspot. You can get to it from the links section.

Oooo….boy do I have a treat for you…in the next couple of days I hope to post a music video my sister made of the boys rocking out.

YamFu
‘My baseball itches’

Going to see Jose Gonzalez again tonight and I’m giddy as a school girl. Yep…giddy…school girl.

YamFu

Where do you think minds go when people loose them?

YamFu

So many times have we seen the Dawn,
Before the Night has truly come.

YamFu

Here’s the story of how I became a Friar.

With our impending nuptials my lady and I had decided we wanted one of our friends to preside over our ceremony. After a few minutes of pining we found our perfect candidate, my good friend Jeff Eblen. When I started researching what it took to become ordained, the potential titles one could have and the sheer absurdity of it I couldn’t help but giggle. I still do…giggle that is. Then it came to me. How much fun it would be to preside over a Super Villain Wedding? Then the desire began to burn. Fanning the coals of inspiration I invited Jeff to lunch and popped the question.

‘Will you marry me?’…’er, will you presided over the ceremony?’ I corrected.

Sending waves of supersonic feelings of inspired bliss Jeff’s direction I waited his response. I sat back, sipped my drink and let the idea bake. Then I calmly added, ‘I will become ordained too. We can do it together.’ His cheeks gave way to a grin. The distorted look in his eye faded as he asked, ‘Why?’ My smirk morphed into a white toothed smile, ‘Because you can pick your own title, Cleric, Friar…Cleric Jeff Eblen.’

Whenever one of us asks the other that one word question it gives us license to go nuts with it. The next 45 minutes or so soared by with one amusingly serious idea after another mixed in with hurried bites of Lucky Lab produced sandwiches.

In the past few months Beckie, Jeff and I have put earnest thought into it. While is it silly and makes us giggle it is some what of a serious subject. My love and I reflect upon our engagement and our life together with immense significance. It is important to us to have a ceremony of meaning with people who are of the greatest importance to us. It means the world to us that Jeff is willing and eager to preside over our marriage ceremony. That doesn’t mean we can’t have fun doing it after all I will be wearing a kilt complete with my family tartan.

Beyond our nuptials it is our intent to preside over ceremonies on the side. There isn’t an abundance of options for people who don’t want a religious ceremony or would rather have a more personal touch added to their ritual than a Justice of the Peace can not or does not offer. Plus, I’d pay to preside over a Super Villain wedding…the thought makes me giggle.

Friar YamFu

My dear friend Chris lost one of her giants last night. I will forever remember Chris’ grandmother Jeanne dressed up on Halloween as a Nun beaming her smile of life when she saw some of her favorite people arrive dressed as their alter-ego of choice….

I can’t really tell you how brilliant of a person Jeanne was nor can I explain what she means to Chris but fortunately Chris’ husband Jeff, one of my very closest friends, expressed it perfectly with this:

‘For those of you that may or may not know Chris’ grandmother was a huge inspiration in her life. Jeanne Roberts is where she got her creativity and strong independence from. Chris was determined to make sure her grandmother was given every opportunity to enjoy life these past few years especially after her stroke that left her wheelchair bound. She went on cruises on the Willamette, sang to standards at Wilf’s and Rose & Raindrop on her 80th, went out weekly to McGraths, had as many malts as she wanted from Mikes, attended all of our Halloween parties, went to the summer concerts at Ardenwald, spent the holidays with her family around her, plus many other adventures . Chris also assumed all financial responsibilities for her grandmother so she didn’t have to worry about it (which for an independent person like her was a difficult thing to do but she trusted Chris).’

As upsetting as it is to us who didn’t spend their life with Jeanne our hearts go out to Chris, Jeff and their family. They are a huge part of me and Jeanne is a huge part of them.

Jeanne was old school…Jeanne was cool. I’ll miss her and celebrate her always.

YamFu

Ahem…Watch…Laugh…and Repeat.

Monster Ask Kicking

Thank you, Katie.

YamFu

On Saturday, December 15, 2007, I asked my wonderful lady to marry me. At the time we had been dating for about 10 months and living together for about 4 months.

I’ve been holding off posting about it until we figured out the details. The ceremony is scheduled for July 26, 2008 at McMenamin’s Grand Lodge. Invitations will be sent out within the next month or two.

YamFu

I came across this picture of Collin the other day. This picture embodies Collin’s personality. It still makes me chuckle.

YamFu

I was going to write something about the Tori Amos concert last night. Yes, guys my lady and I went to the Tori Amos concert last night. She’s Beckie’s favorite musician. But since I’m a geek and am sucker for non-mainstream holidays Annual Day of the Ninja takes precedence.

Whew…man crisis averted and the Tori Amos post will have to wait for another day because this is Annual Day of the Ninja! Now seeing as I’m not an ninja I don’t have a lot to lecture on but here are some people who have a lot to say about the Ninja.

Video about the Ninja:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EZUO5VUajQI
http://www.planetvids.com/html/More-Cool-Ninjas.html

One of my favorite Ninja Fan/Information Sites:
http://www.realultimatepower.net/index4.htm

Ask Ninja questions!
http://askaninja.com/

Okay that’s enough for now. Have fun with da Ninja!

For those bored not interested in Ninja types watch this:
http://i-am-bored.com/bored_link.cfm?link_id=26416

YamFu

There are tons of good musicians in the world but very few great ones. Yes, this is a bit of a subjective statement. We all have our musical infatuation and bête-noir. I may believe Maynard (front man for Tool and A Perfect Circle) is a genius. Beckie thinks I’m insane for this. No worries.

A few weeks ago I accompanied Josh, Beckie’s brother-in-law, to a concert I won’t likely forget…ever. It wasn’t the kind of show where people stood…hell no one shouted until after the guitar strings cooled and the vibrating wood in the guitar settled. Probably because that’s how long it took us to recover. I’m not a concert aficionado but you know it’s going to be ‘one hellova’ show if after the first song the audience doesn’t move…they barely breath . The only sound in the theater for an elongated 10 seconds is the hum of the stage lights and readjusting of the musicians guitar. The stage lit faces eagerly awaiting the next note, ignoring our beers. I’m sure the concession sales are low for each venue Jose Gonzalez plays. He is after all a musical/lyrical mastermind.

If you’ve never seen Jose Gonzalez live you may be surprised to find out it’s just him on stage…no peddles or loops…no accompaniment at all. Every sound that is released is either from his vocal cords or his guitar. It isn’t purely a melodic treasure floating through the air. He’s doing it all by his lonesome…truly prodigious.

At a Jose Gonzalez concert you won’t see any knuckles just below flickering lighters. Nor will you find a subdued crowd. The audience is actively listening…absorbing. It’s an odd thing to see an entire crowd gulp down what is now warm beer in between set breaks because they simply forgot the cup existed. Perhaps this type of show isn’t unique but it’s the first one I’ve been to. The only thing to do now is wait until he comes back to Portland.

Thank you Josh and by extension Jake, Josh’s brother, for introducing me to Jose Gonzalez.

The next song on the Sound Track of My Life is Teardop, The Jose Gonzalez version.

YamFu

Sorry it’s been a while since I posted last. Like everyone on the planet I’ve been busy…well everyone accept for the peddlers who stand on freeway on ramps collecting car change. Those people have time on their hands.

My new job is wonderful…I love being buried in SQL on a daily basis…it’s pure unadulterated fun for me. And once a day my neighbor kicks me out of my chair for a friendly game of table tennis…table tennis equals ping pong for those scratching their heads.

Oh…I am divorced…not sure why I haven’t written about it before…I’ve been divorced for a bit now. It was quite liberating and the small arsenal of liquor bottles my close friends helped me empty liberated me of my stomach contents. Smashing time! I owe them one.

Speaking of sicking-up All Hallows Eve is close at hand. This of course means the annual Davis Graveyard Halloween party. Beckie is attending the function with me…this excites me to my limits because it’s the first Halloween Party I can spend the whole night with my hand on a hot chick’s ass.

Most importantly…said hot chick and I will be settling down tonight for the season premier of our favorite show, Scrubs. You can ring me up between 9:30 and 10pm but you will promptly be sent to voicemail.

More to come,
YamFu

I have a new job. I am the new Senior QA Engineer at WebMD where I will be testing SQL applications or applications that use a SQL database. I’m the person that will test the SQL.

I’m looking forward to this new challenge.

YamFu

Last night someone put a glass bottle behind one of my tires while the car was parked. Not seeing the bottle I ran over it while backing out of the parking space. So now I have a flat tire. I don’t know if it was done on purpose…I drive an SUV…live in Portland, Oregon where there are a handful of environmental extremists or if it was just coincidence, meaning the bottle rolled there. But either way it is a mild annoyance turned amusing.

The funny part about this is I actually have a full size spare tire. How many of you have those? Most vehicles come with the donut tires…not mine. I have a full size spare…just sitting there waiting to be used….now if only I had a jack.

YamFu

Tonight is the 20th annual Brewer’s Dinner at Tom McCall Waterfront Park.

The event is on the SNOB (Supporter of Native Oregon Beer) event circuit. It’s one of my lesser known delights. My great friend Jeff Davis and I have been going the last couple of years. And while it is becoming very popular I immensely enjoy eating, drinking, chatting and smoking a cigar with my good friend.

Ah…it’s all for me grog, me mighty, mighty grog.
It’s all for me beer and tobacco!

YamFu

Something I pondered recently…

There isn’t a rhinoceros in the room and while you can prove it isn’t there what you can’t prove is that it is not, not there…

A group of friends and I recently had a discussion about hobo names. Through this discussion I picked up some pretty cool hobo names;

Harumph(R),
Mr. Damp,
The Chicken Man Professor of Ergonomic Studies

Which one is your favorite?

YamFu

My oldest son Gabriel finished kindergarten last Thursday. I lingered in the boys room while they fell asleep, reflecting on the last six years and the magnificence that is childhood. I am very grateful for my sons and proud to watch them grow.

YamFu

Gentlemen and ladies, I suppose…imagine yourself sitting down on the intimate throne looking forward to a little piece, quiet and a deuce. The restroom at your place of business is empty save for your eminence…an acceptable circumstance for expelling your natural waste. You settle into your routine, leisurely working on a fascinating epiphany, some real life changing stuff. Deep in thought…on the verge of a breakthrough. Then somewhere outside…just on the edge of your awareness you hear something. Barely audible…it sounds as if someone exited an emergency door setting free the alarm. After a few seconds of reprieve from the brief distraction it comes…an extremely audible siren followed by…a voice, “There is an emergency. You must evacuate the building immediately. DO NOT TAKE THE ELEVATOR. Please use the stares…” Repeating….Do you finish your work or do you obey the efficiently bossy loud speaker?

Only thing to do is clean yourself up and hope you can slide out of the bathroom with out anyone noticing…using the stealthy cat like reflexes, you absorbed from watching your army friend Chris demonstrate how to scratch yourself in the nose without intending, to deftly open the door and run face first into your boss…who was, of course, searching for you because of the fire drill.

What’s the moral of this? If you haven’t seen Children of Men yet…get it, watch it!

YamFu

Wrote this over a year ago and never published it. A lot of distance has been covered in the last year. I wrote it for me…it was mine. I used it as a private reminder to keep climing but now it holds different meaning to me…so I share it with whoever reads my blog.

Ah to be a weeble wobble…

It’s been months and yet I still climb the spiral staircase. The top eludes me but I can see it as I inch closer. One foot over the other. It’s been a while since I’ve climbed this high. Each step is taken with my breath held tight; foot placed carefully, hands white knuckling the rail. Learning to walk again is a chore but learning to walk while climbing stairs is painful and yet somehow rewarding. I should not look over the railing but I do. I have to see how far I’ve come, how much farther I have to go. Looking over the railing makes me dizzy, deep breaths don’t help. In past attempts I’ve been overtaken by vertigo or sent toppling by a mighty wind. This time vertigo isn’t overpowering. This time as the wind picks up I hold my breath, grip the railing and brace myself. I can hear it but it hasn’t come yet. I hope it never comes.

YamFu

It’s seems a bit hubris to say that in my years I have come to know some unequivocally wonderful people. This isn’t a list of all of the people who have inspired, taught or helped me along the way. It’s a collection of those who did so without regard or regret and continue to. I am so grateful for all of them. They are my giants; my parents, my grandmother, my sons, Jeff Eblen, The Davis’, my ‘One’ Rebecca, Angela and Nikki ‘Tomato’.

This post isn’t really about me or all of them…it’s about one of them, Tomato, and her step father, Jon. Like my other giants, Nikki is one of those people who make you a better person without any effort. There is so much more I can say about what kind of person Nikki is but that would be digressing. Nikki is who she is in part because of her step father Jon. I had the special pleasure of briefly knowing Jon. From our first conversation I knew how Nikki became such a wonderful human. Jon is one of those people who stand out in a crowd but not in the way celebrities or politicians stand out. He doesn’t command an entourage and you wouldn’t likely know it unless you spoke to him. Unfortunately that won’t be possible anymore. Jon passed away on Monday.

While those who know Jon far better than I will morn his absence, Jon inspired gratitude…While he won’t be able to make NASCAR interesting for me anymore I am more grateful to have known him however briefly or superficially.

Thank you, Jon…

Jason

I suggest every one who has a liberal sense of humor about parenting watch the following music video. While it doesn’t contain any colorful metaphors it does express some potentially offensive material…viewer discretion is advised. Funny shit.

Thanks Jeff and Chris!

Misic Video

YamFu

From the desk of crazy things:

Catching a Fly Pizza?
This has to be one of the greatest things ever to happen in the stands of any sporting event. Two Boston Redsox fans get into it at a game resulting in one throwing a slice at the other…feckin’ kills me every time I watch it. UTube Video Story

Crazy Horn Blower?
There is a small foresty patch of land bordering the West end of my office building which is a few yards from a major freeway. Apparently it is the new home for one business man to wonder around blowing on a trumpet. This fact has provided hours of entertainment for those of us who have heard his horn playing. It isn’t enough this guy is in khakis and a dress shirt wondering around in the bushes and trees but he is playing a horn while doing it. The funniest part is he sound like he’s choking a duck.

YamFu